Podcastination and My Plans for World Domination

09/29/2011

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I’m a little behind on my blog posts but I have an extremely good reason which should admonish me from any wrong doing or cataclysmic disasters that may have taken place as a result of my
negligence.  I was busy saving the world. I know, it’s unexpected and considerably inaccurate but I thought anything less would be inexcusable. 

So here’s how I’m saving the world (bear with me… or bare with me, I always get that wrong):

I’ve been busy masterminding a takeover of the internet. That’s right, your eyes are not deceiving you, I’m officially announcing my plans for global domination which will then allow me to save the world. You probably believe this to be impossible and that I can’t possibly do it as I lack the knowledge, resources and man power. Well that’s where you’re right, but I’m working on that bit. How am I accomplishing this wonderfully devious plan? I’m podcasting! That’s how!

Podcastination is a new section of Planet Kibi that now hosts two podcasts with more being added in due time. While Planet Kibi’s sole focus will be to promote my writing endeavors and my lofty and holy grail-esque goal of being a published author I decided to branch out into the dark and seedy world of podcasting. Here’s what I needed to accomplish this:

1) A Website
2) Other crazy people to podcast with
3) A microphone
4) A working knowledge of file servers and XTML
5) Something interesting and/or funny to talk about

Number 1 was accomplished months ago when Planet Kibi was birthed into existence. Thankfully I married one person mentioned in number 2 and befriended another several years ago. Signing out a microphone from work solved number 3. Number 4 took me two days, a lot of bad language and advil, but I got it all figured out. Number 5 comes easily because it’s rare I have nothing to say and when those rare moments occur I have the people from number 2 to take the lead.

Currently Podcastination has three shows:

Love, Kids and Madness – Hosted by my lovely wife, Nadia, and yours truly. We explore articles about parenting and relationships while offering our own opinions and experiences.

Trilogy: Everything Comes in Threes – Hosted by my good friend Chris Morris and myself we review Movies, TV shows, Comic Books, and cover geek and entertainment news from the previous week. There’s also a cat on the show that constantly attacks Chris and makes him scream like a girl.

Truth 101 - The rantings and conspiracy theories of the illusive Alejandro Che Castro,
co-hosted by Chris Morris. 

Also a soon to be added and yet unnamed ‘Movie Commentary’ podcast where Chris and I invite you to watch a movie with us while we talk about it, break it down, make fun of it and throw out a ton of interesting facts (or at least Chris does, I never do my homework).
 
My fond hope is that this is the beginning of a podcast network under the Podcastination banner that will help drive traffic through the site and entertain various demographics while allowing us all to have a fabulous time and promote all individuals involved. We’re into week two and so far so good. If anyone out there has dreams of podcasting and has a show they’d like to host on Planet Kibi I’m always open to suggestions.

How does this lend to me saving the world you ask? Well it doesn’t really, I sort of lied a bit at the beginning of this post. 
 
If you haven’t podcastinated yet then now is your time! You can download direct from the individual podcast pages which can be found HERE. Or download and/or subscribe on itunes by clicking HERE for Trilogy or HERE for Love, Kids and Madness and HERE for Truth 101.

#podcastination

(after giving it some thought I now realize that it’s definitely ‘bear with me’. If it was ‘bare with me’ then that’d indicate that I desire for you to possibly strip naked and streak down the street with me. Although if it really is ‘bear with me’ then that indicates I have a bear sitting here with me…which I don’t. Whoever invented the english language should be shot. Not to death of course, just to mortally wound so they have something to think about.)
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Whatever!

09/26/2011

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Months ago I wrote a blog post about the death of imagination as kids seems to be served imagination on a platter rather than being allowed to develop it for themselves. Now as I’m watching my kids grow older, especially our seven year old daughter, I’m watching that blog post blossom into a sad reality. And frankly it scares the bejeezus out of me. I never even knew I had a bejeezus. 

You may think I’m nitpicking on this particular point but the piece I’m going to focus on is my daughter’s annoying habit of arguing using the word ‘whatever’. As if it explains everything, counteracts all other arguments and is simply the best comeback ever.

We’ve all heard it before, we’ve seen it in movies, we’ve heard it at school, at work, while buying groceries, we’ve heard it from a fox, in a box, in a house and a mouse, we’ve heard it here, and there and everywhere! Sorry, had a mini Seuss attack.

I first encountered it (where it was truly noticeable) in a family member we had live with us for a while as a live in nanny. She wouldn’t even bother to argue or debate, any funny comment or opening statement was met with an immediate ‘whatever’ which I’m assuming was a defensive mechanism that allowed he to use her brain as little as possible.

Our daughter does it more as a last resort when she can’t come up with something better… for example:

Me: You need a shower tonight, you smell funny.
Daughter: No I don’t, you smell funny.
Me: It’s been two days since you showered last, flies are following you around.
Daughter: No they’re not, you smell like a poopy diaper.
Me: Sooner or later the flies will leave because they also won’t be able to stand the smell, you have to shower.
Daughter: Whatever! (accompanied by an eye roll)

Kids aren’t encouraged to expand their imaginations in creative ways anymore because they’re so ‘here and now’. Everything has to be instantaneous and if it’s not instantaneous then it’s just ‘whatever’.

I don’t suppose I have a real point or solution to the problem, just that it exists, it’s getting worse and I fear for our future. Sooner or later the dolphins are going to catch on that they’re smarter than we are and then we’ll all be screwed and will have to live out our days jumping through hoops and balancing beach balls on our noses.

(Incidentally if anyone finds my bejeezus please return it to me as I no longer have anything to be scared out of me and it’s starting to become a concern)

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The Story of an Unusual Cat: A Trilogy in 9 parts – Part 5, How to Hang a Cat

09/16/2011

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Mr. Bojangles had developed a habit of hurting himself straight from being a kitten. I believe his intentions and attempts to hurt others stemmed from some deep desire to balance out the pain he inflicted upon himself. He was indeed a complicated creature.

Before vacating our bachelor pad in New Westminster he had one more experience which made me not only question his sanity but wonder if he wasn’t exactly biologically sound. He’d never displayed any ability to judge distances when jumping and constantly ran into things. Looking back I suppose there was a good chance he may have been brain damaged. This final act at our New Westminster location had me asking: Is he part lemming?

While the ‘mass-suicide’ concept about lemmings has been proven false you can’t help but notice that the tiny rodent-like creatures do have a bad habit of ‘doing themselves in.’ When a lemming population in any one given area becomes too great they break off into packs and seek a new settlement. During this process they often get lost/eaten/drown/fall off cliffs. Not the most sane of species but probably still a notch above the human race.

In our small bachelor pad we had a large patio window that opened onto a small and precarious looking balcony. I didn’t have the nice view in New West which looked out over the New West Quay. Instead I had the view looking up the hill at the rest of the city which, although a nice city, didn’t inspire me to break into song or any other such creative outburst. To cover the view I’d installed a roll up bamboo blind. When the blind was unrolled and down to it’s full length it covered the entire window.

One day while I was out grocery shopping I left the blind up and the long pull string which was normally wrapped around a brass hook left dangling free and un-tethered. It appeared that the temptation proved too much for Mr. Bojangles…

Here’s how it all went down: I opened the door expecting the cat to run out into the hallway as he had developed a habit of wanting to explore. He didn’t so I assumed he was asleep. I placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, looked over and saw my cat was trying to hang himself and then I opened the fridge to put away the mayonai… my brain connected ‘hanging’ to ‘cat’and I quickly ran into the living room. 
 
Mr. Bojangles, through playing with the blind string (which was easily six feet long), had managed to tie himself up like an Egyptian mummy. One front paw was bound to his head and he had effectively gagged himself so his mouth was open. His other front paw was sticking out through several wrapped layers of cord. One back paw was tethered to his body along with his tail and his other back paw was free and just managed to touch the ground, which in the end probably saved his life.  
 
He had upon him a stubborn look that said ‘Don’t worry about me, I’m fine’ and despite being gagged he still managed to meow. It took me 30 minutes to untie him and in the end I had to actually cut him free. Thankfully he wasn’t physically hurt.
 
I wish I could end this part of the story with a ‘and then he learned his lesson’. Despite keeping the cord tied up from then on he still
managed to almost hang himself four more times.
 
Mr. Bojangles’ story of evil and insanity continues next time with ‘The Declawing Incident’ which also features the subplot ‘Beware of the Ceiling Fan’…


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Book Review: 'Summer on Fire' by Kevin T Craig

09/07/2011

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Kevin T Craig, although an established and talented writer, completely outdid himself with his debut YA novel ‘Summer on Fire’.  A coming of age story that makes ‘Stand By Me’ just seem like a nice song. The story is set in a small Ontario town in 1983 where three teenage friends find themselves with their summer break laid out before them. Before they get a chance to enjoy it they accidentally burn down a local barn and house which, they soon find out still had the owner inside.  They quickly find themselves on the edge of a murder investigation with the brother of one of the boys as the main culprit.

The teenage protagonists; Zach, Jeff and Arnie embark on a mission to uncover the truth behind the murder while learning powerful lessons about loyalty, friendship, responsibility and family. The story is told from Zach’s point of view who is a lovable protagonist not only for his personality but for his teenage sense of ethics and conscience which he holds onto in an unwavering fashion throughout their journey.

Jeff is a strong character and seems to be archetypal, not in the typical sense, but because everyone has known a ‘Jeff’ at some point in their lives. If by any chance you’ve never known a ‘Jeff’ then there’s a strong possibility you ARE that person.

The third wheel of the group is Arnie; the overweight mommy’s boy who makes up the tri-fector and due to his obvious insecurities will follow his friends no matter what.

Throughout the story we are introduced to numerous other characters, notably Jeff’s family which include his timid mother, violent father and an older brother that would make Sigmund Freud cry. 

The most outstanding supporting character in my opinion is Ms. Halverton, an older, single woman who is built like a football player, drives like a maniac and has an attitude as subtle as a sledgehammer. She’s also the one person in the story who simultaneously has everyone’s best interests at heart and is a constant positive force for our heroes.

Without spoiling anymore of the story I will say that Summer on Fire was a consistent joy to read. Excellent location descriptions and well crafted character arcs. Once I started reading it I had trouble putting it down. Craig draws you into the story and the lives of his characters making you absolutely HAVE to know the outcome.

I look forward to his future novels. I’d also recommend that you stop reading this and go buy the book which you can get at Amazon in the US or Chapters in Canada. You can also follow Kevin on twitter @KevinTCraig and check out his website by clicking HERE.
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To Podcast…or Not to Podcast…?

09/01/2011

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Shakespeare wouldn’t have known a podcast if it had walked up to him, slapped him, and then stole his pants. He’d just stand there wearing a frilly collar thinking ‘I can feel a draft.’ In his era a podcast was some guy in the middle of the street shouting about random topics. That guy was often considered the village idiot.

But now, ohhhh now it’s all different. Everyone has a forum, everyone has a voice. The internet opened up a wormhole of possibilities and everything is continually spilling forth! Everyone has a blog and a twitter account; they’re adding friends on Facebook or sticking people in circles on Google+. They have a Tumblr and a Linkedin and they’re texting and sexting and communicating in hundreds of different ways without ever having to shake anyone’s hand.

So why podcast? Why not podcast? Everyone else is doing it. If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would I do that too? That all depends, I’d need more information first: How high is the bridge? What’s at the bottom? Can I wear safety gear? Will I live to tweet about it after?

Despite its viability podcasts aren’t the norm yet and while iTunes provides fantastic options in posting to their network it’s still not widely done. And why not? Mainly because although everyone has a voice, they don’t necessarily HAVE a voice. This is not meant to be any sort of slander towards the mute community. Everyone can write a blog, share status updates, and text but to have other people actually hear your voice…talking about stuff…sharing opinions and stories without the buffer of a keyboard… the concept chills people to their very marrow!

Which is exactly why I’m going to do it. I think it’d be a scary challenge and I believe I could handle it better than Shakespeare (who by this point would still be searching for his pants).

Within the next few weeks you’ll see a new page (Podcastination) added to Planet Kibi which will play host to two different semi-regular podcasts which are yet-to-be-named: The first will feature my BFF, fellow geek, filmmaker, and aspiring comic book creator Chris Morris and I talking about writing, geeky stuff and making fun of each other in the fond hope that you’ll find a chuckle or two in there somewhere. The second will feature my vivacious, redheaded wife and I talking about parenting and relationships…and the insanity that ensues on a weekly basis.

By doing this we’ll certainly be entertaining ourselves and maybe, just maybe, a few others in the process.

Stay tuned for updates…. Podcastination will be coming soon!
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